Memories Returned

Lisa sat slouched at her kitchen table, nursing a hangover. She had just gotten off the phone with Ben, who had settled into college life more easily than she had expected.  With a glass of water in front of her, she recalled the first night she and Dean met in 1998, which developed into a one-night stand. Shortly after that, she found out she was pregnant. She had a specific type back then, and Dean did not fall short. It was apparent who Ben’s father was, and she did not need a DNA test to prove what her heart already told her. It was stamped all over Ben’s face, the same eyes, same jaw, even the same way of pulling away when things got good. However, Ben wanted to know. Yet another conversation she had to have with Dean. She pushed her chair back from the table and rose to her feet, glass of water in hand. A shooting pain stabbed through her temples like sharp knives; Her fingers loosened, and the glass slipped and smashed on the tiles. Lisa cried out in pain, feeling sick rise from her stomach; she quickly took a few steps to the sink and vomited. She coughed and wiped her mouth with the nearest towel.

Moments like these happened more often, and it wasn’t down to morning sickness. A feeling of dread overcame her, and she leaned over the sink. The headaches were coming more often and at times with more flashbacks, just snippets, windows into a life she never knew existed.  Feelings emerged—love, fear, and loss. Lisa remembered how much she loved Dean, how much Ben looked up to him, and everything about their relationship from the start to what could only be considered as non-existent. She remembered the feeling of something possessing her body and trying to kill her son Ben, which struck fear inside her. But it wasn’t just that. She felt betrayed. Having her memories erased without her consent. For years, it felt like she had been grieving a loss, and now it all made sense. She had been grieving Dean. It had been too much for Lisa, and Dean knew a Pandora’s box had been opened.