05/06/2025  Memories Returned Category: Uncategorized Lisa sat slouched at her kitchen table, nursing a hangover. She had just gotten off the phone with Ben, who had settled into college life more easily than she had expected.  With a glass of water in front of her, she recalled the first night she and Dean met in 1998, which developed into a one-night stand. Shortly after that, she found out she was pregnant. She had a specific type back then, and Dean did not fall short. It was apparent who Ben’s father was, and she did not need a DNA test to prove what her heart already told her. It was stamped all over Ben’s face, the same eyes, same jaw, even the same way of pulling away when things got good. However, Ben wanted to know. Yet another conversation she had to have with Dean. She pushed her chair back from the table and rose to her feet, glass of water in hand. A shooting pain stabbed through her temples like sharp knives; Her fingers loosened, and the glass slipped and smashed on the tiles. Lisa cried out in pain, feeling sick rise from her stomach; she quickly took a few steps to the sink and vomited. She coughed and wiped her mouth with the nearest towel.   Moments like these happened more often, and it wasn’t down to morning sickness. A feeling of dread overcame her, and she leaned over the sink. The headaches were coming more often and at times with more flashbacks, just snippets, windows into a life she never knew existed.  Feelings emerged—love, fear, and loss. Lisa remembered how much she loved Dean, how much Ben looked up to him, and everything about their relationship from the start to what could only be considered as non-existent. She remembered the feeling of something possessing her body and trying to kill her son Ben, which struck fear inside her. But it wasn’t just that. She felt betrayed. Having her memories erased without her consent. For years, it felt like she had been grieving a loss, and now it all made sense. She had been grieving Dean. It had been too much for Lisa, and Dean knew a Pandora’s box had been opened.   09: PM 3 Comments  (Add Comment)  | 0 Kudos  Back to Blog List

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	Lisa Braeden ~ {Mom to Ben} {Dean's Woman}	Lisa’s Reply She lifted the glass to her lips that Dean had placed before her, her hands still shaking. Lisa took a sip and replaced it back on the table. She didn’t look up right away. She couldn’t. Everything that had just happened was still sinking in. And with everything he had just said, she needed to find the right words to match the aching in her heart. After a moment of silence, she finally spoke, her voice trembling with emotion. “I grieved for you, for us, for such a long time, and I didn’t even know why. I just felt empty”. She leaned back on the chair, feeling drained. “Now it just all makes sense”. Her eyes dropped to the glass of water, the feel of his thumb still lingering on her hand. “And I know you did it out of love, that’s never been a question”. Lisa stood, stepping closer to him. “We were supposed to be in this together, Dean, we agreed, that much I remember. But you don’t get to keep choosing for me. She stopped in front of him, her voice steady. I’m here and I choose to be here with you, Dean, now and then”. Her eyes misted over, but she held the emotion that threatened to spill “You were right to protect Ben”. She said softly. Her hand found his again, and she searched his eyes. “It still hurts, and yeah, some of the pieces in my head don’t line up with the life I’ve had…but what does make sense is this. Us. Dean, you and me and Ben. And I don’t care how messed up I feel inside my head because my heart still knows you. Always did”. She leaned her forehead against his. “I’m not asking for perfect. Just real. Just you”. Relief swept through her with the force of a tidal wave, nearly collapsing from the weight of it. Lisa closed the small space between them, her lips now brushing up against his. There was only one more question still lingering in her mind, but right now, in this intimate moment between them, she wanted to savour it. For Lisa, intimacy wasn’t just about the physical; it was about being open, vulnerable, and Dean gave her that space. With her forehead still resting against his, she tilted her head slightly, glancing down at the shattered glass on the floor. “And you don’t get to treat me like glass, I’m not fragile”. She returned her gaze to his. “That monster that attacked me, maybe it was a good thing”. Without another thought, her lips met his in a hurried, breathless motion, cementing their bond. Posted by Lisa Braeden ~ {Mom to Ben} {Dean's Woman} on Tue May 06, 2025, 09:05 [Reply to this]

	Lisa Braeden ~ {Mom to Ben} {Dean's Woman}	Lisa’s Reply She tried to pull her eyes away from Dean's in a different direction, but she knew it was a long overdue talk. She also recognised from the previous night that he was nervous about their talk, and she would never put him in a position that would bring up any self-doubt about how she felt about him. Then, the fight started, and if truth be told, Lisa felt relieved. And last night was not the right time or place. But nor was now. Or so she thought, her eyes flitting back to Dean’s, her breath hitched as he snagged her eyes. She exhaled slowly, her eyes lowering to where his fingers touched hers. “Ever since...”, she inhaled as a hit of anxiety came out of nowhere. “I just need answers, Dean, honest answers”. She leaned into him, feeling the steadiness and security he provided for her. Lisa looked at him again, her gaze steady. “I remember things…feelings…moments of us, things I don’t want to remember. I can’t believe I nearly killed Ben”. Lisa’s wall finally gave way, and tears began flooding her eyes. “What kind of mother would do that?”. She inhaled deeply and sat beside the broken glass, leaning back against the kitchen cupboard, feeling a tear trickle down her cheek, her chest heaving with guilt. “I remember everything, but that’s not the worst part... The worst part is the splitting headaches that make me feel like I’m going crazy. Not even a doctor can fathom me out”. Lisa shrugged her shoulders. “All I get given is crazy woman meds because that’s exactly how I felt detailing to the doctor every single thing that I’ve seen and felt since that thing...” Her voice broke, and more tears began to flow. “Do you know what hurts the most? You did not trust or love me enough to make my own choice. My own choice to fight for us. You just took it away. Oh god, I think I’m going to be sick again”, she wiped her face, hand over her mouth, inhaling whatever feeling was coming up, and after a few seconds the nausea stopped. Lisa looked at Dean, her hand on his and her fingers wrapping around his own. “I’m sorry, it’s just a lot to handle. But I want you to know my feelings for you haven’t changed just because my head is messed up. I know deep down you did it for all the right reasons, but it’s just a lot, you know?” Dean’s Reply Dean’s jaw clenched, and he swallowed hard. Suddenly, the physical pain in his face seemed to abate. It was still there, but just faded. Tingling somewhere beneath the surface. He took a deep breath and then released it slowly. knelt beside her, he was oblivious of the cold floor and the broken glass that remained. Their hands intertwined. Raising them, and placing them to his heart, which was thumping rapidly against his ribcage. His gaze locked upon her tear-streaked face. “I get it, and there ain’t a day that goes by that I wonder if I could’ve done it differently. But I had to save you and Ben, even if it meant I couldn’t be with you. It was safer that way…for you both… This life is, well, it’s a dung heap.” He paused, his eyes flickering with remorse. Without a word, he shifted his weight and slipped his arm gently around her, he guided her to her feet and the few steps across the kitchen floor to the waiting chair. There was so much more he had to say, but first, he wanted to ensure her comfort. Once Lisa was settled on the chair, Dean carefully let her go, then turned toward the sink and poured her a fresh water. Passing her the glass, he took a step back, finally breaking the silence. “That wasn’t you. It was that thing that tried to hurt Ben…It tried to get to me, through you…And I did what I did because I love you, not because I didn’t. But you’re right, you should have been the one to choose, and I’m sorry, Lisa... I’m so sorry.” He wanted to reach out for her again, to wrap her in his arms and protect her. That would always be his need. It was his love language…But he held back to give her space. Posted by Lisa Braeden ~ {Mom to Ben} {Dean's Woman} on Tue May 06, 2025, 09:05 [Reply to this]

	Lisa Braeden ~ {Mom to Ben} {Dean's Woman}	Deans Reply To say that Dean’s sleep had been fraught with guilt and dread was an understatement. With barely a few hours of shut eye, He, of course, must have at least been asleep when Lisa woke up because when he had reached for her upon opening his eyes, she was not in the bed beside him, where he expected her to be. His eyes, one of which still held evidence of the previous night’s bar brawl, deep purple and swollen, and his jaw still throbbed, from a lucky punch or two. Sliding into his jeans, barefoot and bare-chested, he wandered down the stairs and found Lisa in the kitchen, leaning over the kitchen sink. Catching sight of the shards of broken glass on the kitchen floor, his jaw tightened. “Lisa,” Her name released from his lips in something between a spontaneous growl and concern... Immediately, he went to her side. Dodging the glass with his bare feet. Hesitantly, he placed his hand upon her back, currently unaware she had been hit with an influx of further memories from the past. “What’s wrong? What can I do?” Lisas Reply Lisa smiled, feeling his hand on her back. She looked down at the drain and shuddered. "I don't know what happened". Lisa looked down at the broken glass and then at Dean, noticing his swollen eye. She shook her head, "I probably just drank too much. I think we all did" She released a breathy laugh, “...I'm surprised we didn't all spend the night in a cell". She moved her head, still feeling slightly off-kilter. "I probably should clear that glass up". Lisa wasn't in the mood to talk; she hoped he had forgotten about 'their talk'. "Oh, Ben called", she said in an attempt to get him off her scent. Although this wasn't the conversation she wanted at the moment, it was a case of being between the devil and the deep blue sea. Either way, one had to be brought up. The question is, what would Dean choose, if at all. Lisa took a step toward the broken glass, but just as she bent down to start picking up the shards, her fingers began to tremble. She hesitated, trying to will them steady, but the shards seemed to blur at the edges. With a frustrated sigh, she reached for a towel to hide her shaking hands rather than to clean up. "Must still be drunk," she muttered, hoping Dean would not notice anything was wrong. Dean’s Reply Dean’s gaze remained on Lisa. Sharp and focused... He had grown accustomed to Lisa’s mannerisms over the time they had been together, so it was easy to see there was something more going on. However, momentarily, he allowed himself to be swayed into a different conversation. “Wouldn’t have been the first time…Just lucky for us that the cells were already at capacity and the sheriff was lazy,” he added, glancing toward the ground and the shards of glass. “Wait, I’ll do that. Go and sit down.” His tone, although an order, was edged with concern. But Lisa was already there. Touching her shoulder briefly, before removing it and in a more soothing tone, he repeated, “Go and sit down, I’ve got this.” his command now sounded more like a request than an order. His eyes narrowed slightly as he witnessed the trembling in her hands. Gently, he removed the towel she had used to hide the fact. Although the mention of Ben had not gone unheard, and he wanted to enquire how he was settling in, his eyes cast over Lisa, catching hers. He knew it could wait. “Lisa, you’re not still drunk. What is it? What happened?” He takes her hands in his, gently brushing over her fingers with the pad of his thumb. “Talk to me, please. Whenever you’re ready. I’m right here.” Posted by Lisa Braeden ~ {Mom to Ben} {Dean's Woman} on Tue May 06, 2025, 09:05 [Reply to this]

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